Approaching 40: A Reflection on Self-Love, Happiness, and Authenticity
As my 40th birthday approaches, it’s got me thinking about time, priorities, and relationships in my life.
I want what most people want. A fulfilling career, happiness, time to travel, and meaningful time with my loved ones.
But that got me thinking about what true happiness is.
What is true happiness, really?
Does it come from external success, or from within?
And can we experience genuine happiness without first cultivating self-love?
Then I stumbled upon this poem that was read by Charlie Chaplin on his 70th birthday. As I read it, I couldn’t help but feel that it captured exactly what many of us begin to understand as we age; not because life becomes easier, but because we become more honest with ourselves.
As I began to love myself I found that anguish and emotional suffering are only warning signs that I was living against my own truth. Today, I know, this is “AUTHENTICITY”.
As I began to love myself I stopped craving for a different life, and I could see that everything that surrounded me was inviting me to grow. Today I call it “MATURITY”.
As I began to love myself I understood that at any circumstance, I am in the right place at the right time, and everything happens at the exactly right moment. So I could be calm. Today I call it “SELF-CONFIDENCE”.
As I began to love myself I quit stealing my own time, and I stopped designing huge projects for the future. Today, I only do what brings me joy and happiness, things I love to do and that make my heart cheer, and I do them in my own way and in my own rhythm. Today I call it “SIMPLICITY”.
As I began to love myself I freed myself of anything that is no good for my health — food, people, things, situations, and everything that drew me down and away from myself. At first I called this attitude a healthy egoism. Today I know it is “LOVE OF ONESELF”.
As I began to love myself I quit trying to always be right, and ever since I was wrong less of the time. Today I discovered that is “MODESTY”.
As I began to love myself I refused to go on living in the past and worrying about the future. Now, I only live for the moment, where everything is happening. Today I live each day, day by day, and I call it “FULFILLMENT”.
As I began to love myself I recognized that my mind can disturb me and it can make me sick. But as I connected it to my heart, my mind became a valuable ally. Today I call this connection “WISDOM OF THE HEART”.
We no longer need to fear arguments, confrontations or any kind of problems with ourselves or others. Even stars collide, and out of their crashing new worlds are born. Today I know “THAT IS LIFE”!
Charlie Chaplin
Final Reflection
As I move into this next chapter, I’m learning that self-love isn’t about perfection. It’s about honesty and truly listening to what’s within us. Alignment over approval will become my new mantra.
💜 How do you practice self-love or self-care in your own life right now?
I’d love for you to reflect—and feel free to share in the comments.
